This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
One more day and the weekend is upon us once more and it also means another round of Drinko De Mayo which is just lovely. Then again, on this show, every day is Drinko De Mayo so the special nature of it all goes down a notch. Speaking of drinking though, Angi is heading to London and Paris in like a week or so which means she will be returning as some kind of Madonna/Angi British hybrid (you've been warned.) This trip meant she needed to start looking for clothes to wear and her shopping has showcased just how back in fashion the 90's are. This led to her becoming frustrated because she had all these styles once but tossed them and being realistic, with the way things have stretched, sagged and crumbled, they probably wouldn't look good anyway. This trip down memory lane led us into a Daily Discussion Topic about things we had in high school that we wished we still had today. Outside of clothes, Angi also yearned for her intact hymen, teenage liver and all the yearbooks one of her ex's threw in the garbage. Marris wishes he still had his knees as he used to run and play soccer for hours but two good legs is a pipe dream now. Also on his list was video games and in particular, a PS2 (the system, he has the games) and time to actually play those games. For myself, I miss having my chromatic fiery interesting multi blend beard as I now look like Santa due to age and stress. Before hitting up the Request Line, we pulled a few Facebook roadies which included an innocent take on the world, their hair and gas being under a dollar. The gas thing took Angi back because oil was just being discovered when she was a kid but also because she worked at a gas station for a time (in the 90's) and it had only cost 98 cents. Right, onward to the Request Line and up first is Julia who misses butterfly clips. She went to a 90's themed bachelorette party and needed them and ended up paying triple what she did back in the day to get them. Angi loved them as well as she was a Spice Girl (now she's a Spice (lopsided) Rack.) Jay the Straight by proximity (angry party planning wife) felt the pinch of having a 90's themed party last year and everything for it was expensive. Pamela said friends, like actual friends. High school reunions were suggested as a way to bridge though but you know, people are different 20 years later. Dorothy said her eyebrows used to be pencil thin. Angi felt the same because she had giant Serbian brows and then Pam Anderson came along and boom, thin as a blade of grass. Diane had something to add but her call cut out. Kevin said his 2 Mustangs which he bought when he came into money but he ended up selling them. Now he's looking for another one. Wendy said her first car. Jerry capped us off with brain cells which to be honest, isn't that the truth (especially with how many you shed listening to this show.)
Other Stuff from Today's Show
This next topic is fun because it offered me an exclusive opportunity to be incredibly stupid during my call in. Emoji's, which Marris hates because he is a dry texter, are getting an upgrade. Instead of everyone thinking that Marris is mad now when he texts, he'd be better off starting to use emojis because they are about to take over phone calls as well. The funny thing is us old people (anyone over 30) probably remember a time when emoji's weren't used for everything as they really became commonplace 10 years ago (that checks out.) However, the stupid little images in text are about to get an upgrade into interactivity for phone calls. The initial launch will include the classics clapping, laughing, party, drum, crying and the one made for this show, poop. The way they work is that when used, they will make a little noise during the call which I guess is Google's way of making phone calls cool again (they're not.) Marris explained how this idea is dumb (it kind of is) and if he's going to laugh during a call, he will actually laugh, not press a button. There will also be a cool down period between usage so you don't have to worry about fart noises being spammed but the idea appears to add the interactivity to regular calls like one gets in video calls. This seems to be intent on taking even more human connection out of calls and just getting us used to dumb down everything. Angi though would probably use it to make the fart noise when she is talking to her friends. Marris had a better idea though, instead of emojis being added to calls, why not add a random sound effect button. You can have fun (which Marris hates, don't forget) while incorporating actual human emotions into a call. I dunno, all this seems like it's made for the youngins and maybe we are all old and out of touch now.
As May is chock full of holiday nonsense, Mother's Day is also happening this month and there is a war brewing on social media. Apparently new mothers and or active moms are saying grandmothers shouldn't be honored because they are "not active." The point is that motherhood is for life and just because a person is not actively raising a child, when you are a mother, it is a lifetime job. Angi can not get behind this idea and said it's rude for younger mothers to not want to include grandmothers in the celebration. Marris added to this point in even being an adult in his 20's, the moment he got sick, he turned to his mother. Angi added that even though her daughter is 18, she feels compelled to never stop mothering. For this reason, grandmothers are still mothers in every sense of the word and they are part of a village that raises you. Marris made an even better point, rope in aunt's, friends moms and neighborhood moms to the celebration, each was instrumental in so way for your life. Also consider that a lot of these grandmothers endured harder times and did not benefit like most mothers do these days. Basically, this is a really stupid debate but people love to curate experiences for just themselves because generations are spoiled by influence and need to be seen as a singular entity who deserves all praise. Mother's Day is the same as Father's Day. Basically, celebrate parents if they mattered to you.
Finally, let's end on a fun one (if you missed Angi being absolutely ambushed and railroaded by Marris, go listen to the podcast.) Hotdogs, everyone loves those disgusting meat cases and that was truly showcased during a Cubs v. Mets game that saw dollar dog night turn into dollar dog fight. With 44,269 dogs sold, dog sucking season was fully underway but the real star of the show was a guy attempting to get into the 9 9 9 club. For those unfamiliar that is 9 beers, 9 dogs and 9 innings of baseball (1 for each.) Marris was asked if he could do the feet but the beers might make it hard. Luckily, the dogs being sucked were the bun and weiner ones and not something Chicago style. Marris believes he could make it comfortably to the 6th inning but only if it was a straightforward game, no pitching dual nonsense. For our man of the hour though, his attempt was disrupted when people started throwing their hot dogs at him (now he knows how it feels to be Angi) and yelling things like "one more dog" and "let him eat." Unfortunately, MLB did not find this funny and hundreds of hot dogs being tossed at him meant his attempt was thwarted as he was escorted out of the park. So, dog sucking season is still seeking its king and unless some guys named Joe or Frank intend to step it up, Angi might be our only hope.
Request Wars 3.5
Theme: Angi Gets Dragged to Hell
Current Champion: Angi (1x)
Angi's Song Choice: “Sit There and Take It for Cheating" by Two Men
Marris' Song Choice: "Pardon Me" by Incubus
Winner: Marris
10 O' Clock Toast:
Toastee: 2 Very Horny Lions
2 lions decided to put on a hell of a show on a safari after they jumped on top of the tourist car and had a full on f... session. The tourist, instead of worrying about being eaten, instead took video of the railing and sold it to TMZ. Angi, of course, decided to use this time to hate on men.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"The booty and the brains, that's what they call me." - Angi
"Marris is going to win the Nobel Peace Prize for that one (bury your drugs for Lolla with an air tag.)" - Angi